Why I slept with my father and Now am jealous of my MUM. I Still want to do it again….

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Dear Readers
lady black
My name is Nikky from New York, United States of America. I have a really big problem am addicted to $ex with my biological dad. I have tried having $ex with other men but it is just impossible dad is the best. It all started when I was 17 years old and my mother had left me under the care of my father for a whole weekend. I used to hear my mother scream in bed while my father had $ex with her and I was always curious what really happened. On that night my father claimed he was lonely and requested me to sleep with him. He was so loving and did not have $ex with me on that night instead he cuddled me and touched my cllitorris and licked it really good. The following day I slept with him again and this time he penetrated into me though painful he did it with care and slowly until I could handle it, it all was so sweet that we ended up coming together. That was the best experience I have ever had in my life. Now am jealous of my MUM.
I need help because  I am just 21 now and need to move on but do not know how to. Kindly help